What do these two have in common? I dunno - but I'm blogging about both in one post. *snicker*
Today was errand day... we hit the laundromat (to wash two sleeping bags we used on the retreat, as our washer can't quite handle them), the post office (Candi, I mailed those clothes back to you today - thanks again!), my uncle's mechanic shop (to pay him for fixing the battery, remember?), and the storage unit. Oh, I have to tell you what I did there, too? Ok, fine. I dropped off the baby carrier I'd used at the retreat. It's one of those you use for hiking or camping. Anyhoo.
While we were at the laundromat, we had a blast. I didn't know that was possible. We ate a quick lunch in there while the bags were washing, then we played. And went a bit nuts. But hey, no one was in the laundromat, and my kids needed to get some energy out. So, we had races. Really. I pushed the baby in the stroller as fast as I could in my straight denim skirt I'm wearing today, and the other three ran and s-c-r-e-a-m-e-d. I might have, too. (Shhh, don't tell. If there was a hidden camera somewhere, I hope it didn't have sound!)
We also did playdough on cookie sheets - it really works well! You don't have leave any mess behind for anyone else to get on their clothes when they fold them on the table.
At first, I felt guilty going out for errands. I kept thinking... what if a realtor calls? What if I miss an important call? Well, that is what my answering machine is for, right? So I put that little bugger to good use... and came back to 3 calls. None of which were emergencies, or I assume so because no one had an audible stroke while leaving their message. I don't know why I do that to myself. And no, I don't have a cell phone. I would like a trac phone (is that what they are called?) for emergencies when I'm away from the house, but that number would not ever be given out except to immediate family. I used to have a cell phone years ago, but found it was more money than it was worth at the time.
Anyway. Laundromats and Realtors.
Wednesday, May 9, 2007
You can't please everyone
So only work on pleasing... Him.
I have some friends from college, "S" and "S," who have issues with infertility. Try as they might and pray as they did, no babies came. People at their church, friends, and family all made comments like, "Aren't you pregnant YET?" and "Don't you two want kids?" and "When are we gonna hear an announcement?" As you can imagine, this caused them MUCH pain. Then one glorious day, they travelled to another continent with intentions of adopting one little fella... and came back with him AND his older brother. Praise God!
People on the other end of the spectrum are not immune to people's comments, either. We've had 4 (and hope for more!), and I've gotten all sorts of comments. Especially because they've come close together. My grandma constantly brings it up, asking me to not have more. I've got an uncle who is convinced I'm ruining the kids' lives by having more kids. Yes, ruining. He's said so to my face. Not too long ago in a grocery store I got a comment from a man who told me he needed the number of my psychiatrist. Yes, he was meaning about my family size.
During the retreat this weekend, the adults kept saying over and over how lovely it was to go somewhere away from the house and NOT hear things like, "Better you than me!" or "Don't you have a tv?" or "Why would you want this many kids?" or "Don't you know what causes that?"
See, family size is a VERY personal thing. It is really ONLY between the couple and God. If you have no kids, fine by me. If you only have one kid, fine by me. If you only have two kids, fine by me. If you only have 12 kids, find by me. If you have 20, fine by me. I'm not you, or your husband, or God. It isn't any of my business.
You can't please everyone, so don't try. Pray about it; talk it over with your spouse, and do what you feel God is leading you to, whether that is a small or large family. And then ignore anyone who says hurtful comments. And remember... they may not mean to be hurtful. Oh yes, some DO know they are being rude and snarky. But some just stuck their foot in their mouth without even knowing it. They are curious and so want to get that across in a cute and funny way... but they don't actually make in the humor department.
And if you are one of the people who has asked some of these questions, please consider this: how is your question supposed to make those parents feel? Remember S and S? How did they feel when people asked those questions? I know how they felt, because we talked about it. They felt pain. Being unable to have children was on their mind a lot already, and to have those questions levelled at them was painful.
And people who have large families - would you believe that our babies are not always welcomed into the world? Yes. My other grandma doesn't want to hear our announcements. I've friends who, when announcing pregnancies or births, actually get told horrible things about how that baby was a mistake. Several people have had family members get up and walk out of the room in disgust.
The fact is, folks, that family size is so very personal. Just like how much money you make. Or how many times a week you and your spouse have s*x. Think that's not the same thing? Sure it is. Would you walk up to a family member (or worse yet, a person in the store) and say, "How is your s*x life? I've noticed your hubby is grumpy lately." Uhhh, no. And if you did, they'd ask you what business it is of yours. And it is the same thing - many people equate the size of the family with money and irresponsibility with their fertility.
So if you really want to know what is going on in their life regarding family size, whether you wonder why they have no kids or why they have 16, ask it with a genuine heart to understand. When the conversation is over, you may not agree, but so what? They still deserve to be treated with respect and kindness.
I have some friends from college, "S" and "S," who have issues with infertility. Try as they might and pray as they did, no babies came. People at their church, friends, and family all made comments like, "Aren't you pregnant YET?" and "Don't you two want kids?" and "When are we gonna hear an announcement?" As you can imagine, this caused them MUCH pain. Then one glorious day, they travelled to another continent with intentions of adopting one little fella... and came back with him AND his older brother. Praise God!
People on the other end of the spectrum are not immune to people's comments, either. We've had 4 (and hope for more!), and I've gotten all sorts of comments. Especially because they've come close together. My grandma constantly brings it up, asking me to not have more. I've got an uncle who is convinced I'm ruining the kids' lives by having more kids. Yes, ruining. He's said so to my face. Not too long ago in a grocery store I got a comment from a man who told me he needed the number of my psychiatrist. Yes, he was meaning about my family size.
During the retreat this weekend, the adults kept saying over and over how lovely it was to go somewhere away from the house and NOT hear things like, "Better you than me!" or "Don't you have a tv?" or "Why would you want this many kids?" or "Don't you know what causes that?"
See, family size is a VERY personal thing. It is really ONLY between the couple and God. If you have no kids, fine by me. If you only have one kid, fine by me. If you only have two kids, fine by me. If you only have 12 kids, find by me. If you have 20, fine by me. I'm not you, or your husband, or God. It isn't any of my business.
You can't please everyone, so don't try. Pray about it; talk it over with your spouse, and do what you feel God is leading you to, whether that is a small or large family. And then ignore anyone who says hurtful comments. And remember... they may not mean to be hurtful. Oh yes, some DO know they are being rude and snarky. But some just stuck their foot in their mouth without even knowing it. They are curious and so want to get that across in a cute and funny way... but they don't actually make in the humor department.
And if you are one of the people who has asked some of these questions, please consider this: how is your question supposed to make those parents feel? Remember S and S? How did they feel when people asked those questions? I know how they felt, because we talked about it. They felt pain. Being unable to have children was on their mind a lot already, and to have those questions levelled at them was painful.
And people who have large families - would you believe that our babies are not always welcomed into the world? Yes. My other grandma doesn't want to hear our announcements. I've friends who, when announcing pregnancies or births, actually get told horrible things about how that baby was a mistake. Several people have had family members get up and walk out of the room in disgust.
The fact is, folks, that family size is so very personal. Just like how much money you make. Or how many times a week you and your spouse have s*x. Think that's not the same thing? Sure it is. Would you walk up to a family member (or worse yet, a person in the store) and say, "How is your s*x life? I've noticed your hubby is grumpy lately." Uhhh, no. And if you did, they'd ask you what business it is of yours. And it is the same thing - many people equate the size of the family with money and irresponsibility with their fertility.
So if you really want to know what is going on in their life regarding family size, whether you wonder why they have no kids or why they have 16, ask it with a genuine heart to understand. When the conversation is over, you may not agree, but so what? They still deserve to be treated with respect and kindness.
Tuesday, May 8, 2007
The good, the bad, and the ugly
The good: I lost 5 pounds during the retreat, and I feel refreshed mentally and emotionally!
The bad: My van's battery died just before we were going to leave for the retreat and had to be replaced PRONTO, and once we got there, a mouse of some sort was in our cabin that kept leaving little dobs everywhere and woke me in the night because he was digging in our belongings.
The ugly: Sugar-n-Spice was not on her best behavior at all. I almost left the retreat early because of that.
Now, perhaps you are scratching you head about why I feel refreshed after reading the "bad" and the "ugly." Well, I'll tell ya: teenage girls who are servant-hearted and their parents who teach them to be so.
The retreat was held at a camp in a GORGEOUS spot in the hills of Missouri. The girls kept asking me, "Mom, are we in the forest?" We were surrounded by "forest" and huge green fields that held dozens of grazing horses. Beautiful sight. And to get to the horses, my Grand Caravan got to live out it's lifelong dream: to be a Jeep. LOL - seriously, there were some steep hills, and the roads where just gravel. I had to floor it to get up the hill, and man, did we c-r-a-w-l up that hill.
And that's where the 5 pounds of loss came in. We had to walk up and down hills all weekend, carrying our babies and pushing strollers. Can you say "workout?" LOL
This retreat was for families with lots of children. I had one of the smallest families, as I only have 4. The largest attending family had 9. It was such fun and BUSY! But it was also hard work. I had my 4 by myself, and so did my friend "M" - she had her 3 by herself. We had no hubbies to help, and on a thing like this, you really needed an extra set of hands. Especially when a child started acting up. (One of the mothers told me that "M" and I were awfully brave to be doing the retreat without our husbands, and I replied with, "I think I'm beginning to think so, too!") My Sugar-n-Spice showed a lot of her "spicy" side that weekend, particularly on Friday night. She would take off in the opposite direction, and I had to drop the other 2 and run after her (on a hill, lol) with a baby in my arms, then drag her back. Throwing a huge tantrum, of course. I was so frustrated and frazzled by the end of Friday that I told the kids we were leaving the next day. That was it for me. And then along came the mouse that night. Yup, I was going home.
On Saturday, I decided to give it another shot, but if it didn't work, we were indeed going home. But I didn't get that chance. Throughout Saturday, various girls came to "M" and I and would ask, "What can I do?" And it continued on Sunday. Those young women "made" the weekend for me. With them taking a child to the bathroom, holding a tired toddler, allowing me to go get my food, etc, I got to breathe a bit. One of the them, "H," asked me, "When do you take a shower?" LOL! Ah, the age-old question for mothers everywhere, but especially when you are far outnumbered by tiny ones and have no husband around to help. She is one of the oldest in her family, and obviously does not remember the time when her own mother faced that. Now in her family, they not only have the two parents, but about 3 teens! Talk about having help in that family!
One tidbit that had me laughing so hard... a mother there asked me how old I am, remarking that I didn't look any older than her son who was 19. I could not help but laugh. I've always looked young, but I've not gotten a comment like that in awhile - mostly just that I don't look old enough to have 4 kids. So when I told her that I am actually 30, her eyes got pretty big. So funny!
Another wonderful thing - I got to meet 3 families that I will be close to when we move!!! How fabulous! Ready-made friends! (And I got promises of a FABULOUS recipe that we got to sample. When I get it, I will post it for you. You will LOVE it.)
Such a wonderful weekend, though it started with bumps including a van that won't start. Talking with so many humble and godly women was a wonderful way to refill my tank, and seeing their teenagers gave me such encouragment to keep on working and training my little ones for Him. I hope that one day my own kids will be such great young adults!
The bad: My van's battery died just before we were going to leave for the retreat and had to be replaced PRONTO, and once we got there, a mouse of some sort was in our cabin that kept leaving little dobs everywhere and woke me in the night because he was digging in our belongings.
The ugly: Sugar-n-Spice was not on her best behavior at all. I almost left the retreat early because of that.
Now, perhaps you are scratching you head about why I feel refreshed after reading the "bad" and the "ugly." Well, I'll tell ya: teenage girls who are servant-hearted and their parents who teach them to be so.
The retreat was held at a camp in a GORGEOUS spot in the hills of Missouri. The girls kept asking me, "Mom, are we in the forest?" We were surrounded by "forest" and huge green fields that held dozens of grazing horses. Beautiful sight. And to get to the horses, my Grand Caravan got to live out it's lifelong dream: to be a Jeep. LOL - seriously, there were some steep hills, and the roads where just gravel. I had to floor it to get up the hill, and man, did we c-r-a-w-l up that hill.
And that's where the 5 pounds of loss came in. We had to walk up and down hills all weekend, carrying our babies and pushing strollers. Can you say "workout?" LOL
This retreat was for families with lots of children. I had one of the smallest families, as I only have 4. The largest attending family had 9. It was such fun and BUSY! But it was also hard work. I had my 4 by myself, and so did my friend "M" - she had her 3 by herself. We had no hubbies to help, and on a thing like this, you really needed an extra set of hands. Especially when a child started acting up. (One of the mothers told me that "M" and I were awfully brave to be doing the retreat without our husbands, and I replied with, "I think I'm beginning to think so, too!") My Sugar-n-Spice showed a lot of her "spicy" side that weekend, particularly on Friday night. She would take off in the opposite direction, and I had to drop the other 2 and run after her (on a hill, lol) with a baby in my arms, then drag her back. Throwing a huge tantrum, of course. I was so frustrated and frazzled by the end of Friday that I told the kids we were leaving the next day. That was it for me. And then along came the mouse that night. Yup, I was going home.
On Saturday, I decided to give it another shot, but if it didn't work, we were indeed going home. But I didn't get that chance. Throughout Saturday, various girls came to "M" and I and would ask, "What can I do?" And it continued on Sunday. Those young women "made" the weekend for me. With them taking a child to the bathroom, holding a tired toddler, allowing me to go get my food, etc, I got to breathe a bit. One of the them, "H," asked me, "When do you take a shower?" LOL! Ah, the age-old question for mothers everywhere, but especially when you are far outnumbered by tiny ones and have no husband around to help. She is one of the oldest in her family, and obviously does not remember the time when her own mother faced that. Now in her family, they not only have the two parents, but about 3 teens! Talk about having help in that family!
One tidbit that had me laughing so hard... a mother there asked me how old I am, remarking that I didn't look any older than her son who was 19. I could not help but laugh. I've always looked young, but I've not gotten a comment like that in awhile - mostly just that I don't look old enough to have 4 kids. So when I told her that I am actually 30, her eyes got pretty big. So funny!
Another wonderful thing - I got to meet 3 families that I will be close to when we move!!! How fabulous! Ready-made friends! (And I got promises of a FABULOUS recipe that we got to sample. When I get it, I will post it for you. You will LOVE it.)
Such a wonderful weekend, though it started with bumps including a van that won't start. Talking with so many humble and godly women was a wonderful way to refill my tank, and seeing their teenagers gave me such encouragment to keep on working and training my little ones for Him. I hope that one day my own kids will be such great young adults!
Thursday, May 3, 2007
Going away for the weekend
The kids and I are heading out for the weekend. See you when we return. I hope to have lots of stuff to tell!
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
Something I never DREAMED I'd say...
Mommy to Sunshine:
"You do NOT brush your sister's butt with your brother's toothbrush!!"
ETA: She actually had her sister's bare bottom exposed and was scrubbing the crack. EWWWW. (Glad it wasn't my toothbrush!)
"You do NOT brush your sister's butt with your brother's toothbrush!!"
ETA: She actually had her sister's bare bottom exposed and was scrubbing the crack. EWWWW. (Glad it wasn't my toothbrush!)
Starting the process
...of buying our first home!
Wow.
We are moving this month to another state, so we've begun the process for the loan. I am so excited! We really have NO time to do this. I can't believe we are going for it, but we are.
I laugh because hubby wants to be moving into a house June 1st. Those of you who have bought houses are probably shaking your heads at this, no? Well, in his defense, the company we are working with does things a bit differently. Usually people get preapproved for a loan, find a house, then have to actually get the loan. This company does it the other way around. So once we find a place, the money is ready to plunk down right away.
I spent most of the day today finding the financial documents they needed, learning how to scan them into my computer, attaching them to emails (yes, emails - it took 5 emails because there were 24 pages!!!), and talking alternately on the phone with my husband and the loan company. It took awhile, but was relatively painless. Unless you ask Sunshine, who was begging for a turn on the computer while Mommy worked and worked and worked. "Are you done YET?" "Is it my turn?" "Mom, you are taking FOREVER!" (We also had a few chats about attitude, waiting patiently, and speaking with a respectful tone of voice.)
I was joking with hubby that it must be really nice to say, "Talk to my wife; she handles all the paper stuff." I told him that I was his secretary, of sorts, to which he agreed. Then I popped out with, "Hey, and I even get to sleep with the boss!" (Wink)
Wow.
We are moving this month to another state, so we've begun the process for the loan. I am so excited! We really have NO time to do this. I can't believe we are going for it, but we are.
I laugh because hubby wants to be moving into a house June 1st. Those of you who have bought houses are probably shaking your heads at this, no? Well, in his defense, the company we are working with does things a bit differently. Usually people get preapproved for a loan, find a house, then have to actually get the loan. This company does it the other way around. So once we find a place, the money is ready to plunk down right away.
I spent most of the day today finding the financial documents they needed, learning how to scan them into my computer, attaching them to emails (yes, emails - it took 5 emails because there were 24 pages!!!), and talking alternately on the phone with my husband and the loan company. It took awhile, but was relatively painless. Unless you ask Sunshine, who was begging for a turn on the computer while Mommy worked and worked and worked. "Are you done YET?" "Is it my turn?" "Mom, you are taking FOREVER!" (We also had a few chats about attitude, waiting patiently, and speaking with a respectful tone of voice.)
I was joking with hubby that it must be really nice to say, "Talk to my wife; she handles all the paper stuff." I told him that I was his secretary, of sorts, to which he agreed. Then I popped out with, "Hey, and I even get to sleep with the boss!" (Wink)
Some great quotes
From church bulletin:
From Sting My Heart's post called "My Wander Years":
"What have you done today that nobody but a Christian would?"
From Sting My Heart's post called "My Wander Years":
"Your life is already planned; don’t refuse to follow."
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