Inexcusable vs Unforgivable

"You can't forgive him! If you do, he's getting away with it!"

That's what I heard every time I felt convicted about forgiving someone who hurt me. It's certainly what it felt like. But thankfully, as a wise friend once told me, emotions are not truth. Just because my feelings tell me he gets away with something if I forgive him doesn't mean I have to believe it. Because it's not true.

Really think about those words: inexcusable... unforgivable. Are those words interchangeable? Well, some people use them as synonyms, but they aren't. Inexcusable means there is no excuse, that it can't be waved away as if it were nothing.

Forgiveness does not magically turn their sin into something that was alright to do. Is that God's attitude when He forgives us? That it's only a sin until you're forgiven, and then it's just unfortunate? No. It's a sin before and after the forgiveness. The difference... is in the forgiveness.

The first thing I did, when I realized that forgiveness wasn't making those sins against me "ok" was I said it out loud. It was so freeing to do that! I said it over and over. It was WRONG. Inexcusable!

"But not unforgivable!" says another voice.

To forgive someone is to not punish them for their wrong. To allow them the grace and room to change. And if I didn't forgive him because I thought he shouldn't be let off the hook, well, then whose place was I in?

Punishing his sin isn't my job. It's God's. Those who wrong us aren't getting away with it; He knows, is watching, and is working, though we may not see it.

Forgiving someone isn't easy, especially the deeper the hurts go. But it isn't impossible. It starts as an act of the will. "I choose to forgive him. I choose to lay down my anger, and I will not punish him, not even in my mind." And at first it has to be done at least once a day. In cases like mine where that person is such a basic part of your life, it has to be done many times a day. Oooh, that just was hard.

But soon God begins to soften our hearts. The anger and hurt begin to fade, and eventually those painful memories become facts, not open wounds.

Forgiving isn't easy. But who wants to shrivel up into a bitter old woman? And if I want to be a sweet old lady someday, I gotta start being a sweet young woman today.

How it went: entertaining

It went really well!!

Of course, things went wrong (don't they always), but I found a way around it. I had baked banana bread, but it didn't cook all the way through. The center was still pretty raw. It's a new oven to us, so I have some tweaking to do. I just ran to the store and picked up a cheesecake and topping. Wala!

She arrived at 1:00 on the dot, with beautiful flowers in hand. She had done her hair up in rollers and was just a cute curly guest! But her hubby wouldn't come - said it was a "woman thing." LOL So when the afternoon was over, I sent some cheesecake home with her for him. Turns out the kind I served is his favorite and the only kind he will eat. (smile)

We chatted nonstop for 3 hours! We laughed and laughed, and laughed some more. It really was fun. And she read books to my kidlets, which I wondered who it was more fun for - her or the kids? Her grandkids live far away, and she just ate up my little crew.

When she was leaving, she kept saying again and again how we have to do this again because it was so much fun. And it was! I'm very happy with how things went... just really enjoyable and relaxing.

Entertaining tomorrow...!

It's been on my heart a lot lately to be hospitable. I came upon a verse about hospitality in the Bible that just really grabbed me. It is a simple verse, and the wording doesn't seem to be something that would convict a person, but it convicted me. "Use hospitality one to another without grudging." - 1 Peter 4:9

Within days of feeling the pull from that verse to entertain, I found the blog 4 Reluctant Entertainers, written by Sandy, a fellow Christian woman. Her blog is just loaded with examples of being a hostess and full of lots of encouragement. It will be a long time before I can aspire to her level of hostessing, but after this post especially (on Irish hospitality and pride), I was encouraged to just jump in, with SIMPLE being the thing. We're finally settled in our new home, so now is a good time, right?

Here is the invitation I made to a sweet couple who live two doors down. They are a retired military couple (well, he was the soldier, but hey, we wives are "in" the military, too!), and I simply invited them over for goodies in the afternoon. I think I said, "cookies and milk." Although we are also gonna have banana bread. Also on the invitation, I invited them to "chat the afternoon away" with us. It'll be my kiddos, the neighboring couple, and myself. Hubby will still be at work.

After making the invitation, the kids and I walked to their house and personally delivered it. Since then, we've seen the wife out in the yard, and she was so excited! I've never seen anyone in their 60s so giggly before! It was the sweetest and most wonderful reaction. I never would have thought that cookies, milk, and conversation would bring such a response. She said she "can't wait!" I can't wait, either, and I will definitely let you know how it goes!

Wordless Wednesday

How a boy plays house...

For more Wordless Wednesday fun, click on the button to the left. It's lots of fun! And you just might find a few cool blogs to enjoy.

A little note about posts and pictures

I have hundreds of adorable pics of my kids and even a couple of me and the kids, but... I don't post them for privacy reasons.

One, I have posted about our marriage issues, and very few people in our families and face-to-face friends know. I'd like to keep it that way. If I post pics that are easily recognizable as my family, then the cat is outta the bag.

Two, I am leary about having too much info out there about my kids and their identities. We live in a small town right now, and with my dh often gone, it seems wise to not put ourselves out there. I try to be vague about our location anyway in posts. I don't even post about the weather because it could lead to someone pinpointing the area I'm in.

Of course, this significantly narrows down my Wordless Wednesday selections. Or adding cute little photos to add "awww" value to my posts on what the kids are doing lately. But I'd rather be safe and less exciting than sorry.

Just FYI.

Growing up is so much fun!

Shortcake now drinks from both a sippy and a straw. She learned both skills in the last few days. Man, does it make things easier. Now when we are out, I don't always have to nurse her, if it's not a good time. Sometimes she still insists, but often she is content with the other options.

Goodness, I just can't believe how big she is getting! She walks pretty quickly now. And she loves to play chase. I chase her by crawling behind her, slapping the ground behind her really loudly, which makes her shriek in glee, while growling at her. She loves it. She gets so excited that she'll get all tangled up in her own legs and crash. Then I attack her and tickle. I do SO love that belly laugh!

A first for me: being tagged

I was tagged by Christi at Jealous Hands for this, my very first meme. Like Christi, I'd seen it around. And now, it has come to me.

Four jobs I’ve held: (How far back are we going here...?)

1. High school - Wendy's
2. College - various positions in the distribution center for A Beka Book
3. 1st grade teacher
4. Camp counsellor

Four movies I can watch over and over again: Ok, I know that there are a TON I could watch over and over, so just picking what pops into my mind first...

1. Man from Snowy River (and it's sequel, Return to Snowy River)
2. Kate and Leopold
3. Topper Returns
4. Philadelphia Story

Four places I have lived:

1. Florida
2. Georgia
3. Maryland
4. Missouri

Four tv shows I watch: (well, we don't have tv right now, but when we did...)

1. Gilmore Girls (I was an addict!!!)
2. The Unit
3. Everybody Hates Chris
4. Whose Line is it Anyway? (Love, love, love those reruns!)

Four places I’ve been on vacation: You know, I can't truly answer this as others have done. I've never been on a true vacation. Didn't even have a honeymoon. Shocking, I know. So, when we got small amounts of time off or a bit of money, we...

1. Went canoeing for a day
2. Went camping for a night or two
3. Visited family

Four of my favorite foods:

1. cheesecake, plain or fruit topping - but fave topping is fresh blueberries!
2. brownies
3. mashed potatoes
4. french toast

Four websites I visit:

1. Amazon
2. Land's End
3. Truth for Life
4. Old Fashioned Christian Music Radio - disclaimer: I don't agree with the man's viewpoint on music, but I enjoy the stuff he plays. If you love old hymns, this is a good site.

I'm tagging Michelle, Melissa, Debi, and Kugoi. No worries, though. Participate if you wish; sit this one out if you like.