You know, where you want to go back to bed and pull the covers over your head? Yeah. That kind. In fact, as I pulled up the "new post" option here on my blog, I heard a glass crashing to the floor in the kitchen, shattering and scattering shards of glass everywhere. Big sigh from Mommy. But thankfully, no one got hurt or cut. I've gotten it up as best as I can. Later I'll get out the vacuum to try to get up any pieces I can't see.
We're all tired from our few days away at my sister's house, and so it's Crankville for our clan. Including Mommy. The baby is sick again (nasty, nasty cold and she can't breathe well at all, poor thing), and home just isn't exciting enough for some of our smallest members.
I'm finding that I have no patience for even the little, harmless, silly things they are doing that just make them children. On other days, I would find it funny and mentally file it away for later memories of how fun it was when they were all little. But today, I'm not that person. Today I'm the grumpy Mom who is more concerned with her own little wants: complete silence, no interruptions, and to think in complete sentences. I don't like this "me" very much at all.
I keep telling myself that they can't see Christ's love through me if I'm being growly. And, I'm missing all these wonderful chances to talk about spiritual things because I just want to retreat into my own shell.
I think it's time to grab the kids, cuddle on the couch with some big blankets, and read a book (or ten) together. I know Mommy needs her love tank filled up, and it seems the others do, too. But mostly, I need to get my head focused on them, and not me. They are not here to please me. I'm here to guide them, to love them, to teach them, and to nurture them. How can I teach them how to handle their grumpy moods if I am not handling mine well?
Um, sorry - I've gotta go! I'm going to gather the children. We're going to make a list of our blessings, tell each other we love each other, and then we're piling up with some books!
(I love blogging. It's so theraputic.)
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Wow! I love this post. I had a similar day, just wanted to be by myself, in peace. But, all the while wanting to better mother my dear children and not be so focused on myself. It was a bit of a battle today. And, although I didn't cuddle on the couch with them, I tried to love on them more as the day progressed. I thought, at one point, standing in my kitchen, how I desperately need God's grace, especially during these days. Thank God for new mercies in the morning. And, thank God for fresh mornings to start anew with our children!
ReplyDeleteVery lovely blog!
Julie-Anne
Thanks, Julie-Anne. It's nice to know we aren't alone, isn't it? YES, thank God for new mercies and fresh mornings!
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