Me these days

I'm having so much trouble being motivated with hubby here. Do the rest of you experience that, too? Even when life was "normal" and he had a day off, it felt like I did, too, and housework almost always went out the window. And now? Multiply that feeling by about 3000%. I'm getting the absolutely bare minimum done around here. Which I feel guilty about. I'm the only one cleaning and cooking for this household of now 8 people. (Well, the girls help, but they depend on me for the prodding, and when you are having trouble prodding yourself, how much prodding of others do you get done? Exactly.)

I've even been slack on exercising. I just would much rather lie in bed with him in the mornings, instead of rising at 5:30 to exercise. Hmmm, cuddle with my man or get up and sweat alone before the sun is up? Cuddle? Sweat? Cuddle? Sweat? Yeah. It took me about 1.3 seconds to decide that one.

Emotionally, I'm a whole mess of weird. Excited about the new house, happy he's home, preoccupied with thoughts of what-color-will-I-paint-that-room, and then, outta nowhere, I'll feel like bursting into tears. I just want to sit down and bawl, but I can't do that. Then hubby would want to know what's wrong. And I just don't wanna have that conversation.

I dunno, maybe I'm just having a reaction to fi-nuh-lee having him home and the emotional stress it was to have him gone, especially under the circumstances. Or maybe its the stuff that I know isn't fixed between us yet. Or maybe its the stress (though exciting) of a new house and moving again... who knows. I just wish it would go away.

Speaking of an exciting move - I am SO eager to get going! That house is so big, and after being cramped up in our old place for so long, and now more than a year in my parents' home (too small for both families), I'm ready to breathe. I'm eager to unpack our things and rediscover all my own stuff again. I am so giddy at the thought of arranging the rooms as I like it and living in clutter-free spaces!!!!!!!!!